completely unmeaningful hilariousness

So this begins as so many of my finer moments do...at the Walmart.

I'm waiting in line in front of this lady and she's got 2 little kids...like younger than 3...in the basket of the cart with all the groceries piled in around them.  It's been a looooong wait and she's flipping through magazines and talking on her phone.  I hear the kids kinda being rowdy and hear her tell them to be quiet and settle down.

   So, of course...as any professional mother with vast experience will do...I kinda glance over my shoulder at the kiddies in the basket because my trouble sensor was tingling.  I notice they are literally sitting on several items (like veggies, a box of muffins, some bagels...) that definitely should not be sat on.  I look up and she's completely oblivious; on the phone and getting her important news update courtesy of Woman's Day. 

  Oh well...live and learn I always say. So I turn around and continue to wait.


Couple of minutes later I hear a giggle...followed by a bigger giggle...followed by SHHHHHH!!

A glance back reveals mom still completely immersed in whether Kim K. has a new Saudi beau and how she lost 10 pounds to catch him and her phone conversation (which apparently was not very engrossing)...the kids however had managed to open the ketchup bottle in the cart and were squirting it around and finger painting to their little hearts' content.

I did what any other person would do "Excuse me ma'am..."  

The response I got... she didn't even acknowledge me.  She raised the "hold on" finger at me without even looking my way, rather rudely and emphatically I might add.  Who could she possibly be talking to and what information contained within the bastion of knowledge know as STAR magazine could make someone unable to look at a person trying to address them?  The world may never know!

Meh...alrighteee then. 

So I did what probably not every other person would do...I looked them kids square in the eyes, gave them a biggo smile, (cause someone has to appreciate their artistic endeavors) and turned back around.  Just in time to start loading my items onto the register belt thingy.

The high pitched shrieking and shocked mutterings of "OH MY GOD...what are you doing?!!! OH MY GOD!!!" a minute later told me the jig was up. 

Since there was no way I could possibly deal with the situation now without excessive laughter and possibly peeing my pants,  I quickly paid for my stuff, shared a conspiratorial smile with the checker (who I'm pretty sure witnessed the whole thing) and left as quickly as possible laughing and snorting as quietly as possible.

I LOOOOVE WALMART!!!!