Synonyms: artificial, backhanded, counterfeit, double, double-dealing, double-faced, fake, feigned, insincere, Janus-faced, jive [slang], left-handed, lip, mealy, mealymouthed, Pecksniffian, phony (also phoney), phony-baloney (or phoney-baloney), pretended, two-faced, unctuous
and may I add...JERK!
It's so much easier to confess your sins in a such an impersonal way. Here I am, admitting to all and sundry, that I kicked the day off with a GIGANTIC "Jerk" sign on my forehead...but I don't actually have to look you in the eye while doing it.
It all began, as most bad things do, in the dark of night...
Despite my desire to go to bed at a decent hour...
1) My fantasy football team was neck and neck with the other guy...known as THE LOSER this morning...till the very end of the game. HAD to watch. (by the way...what a spectacle that was!)
2) I started reading. You know how that goes...
3) I had a full bag of sunflower seeds to snack on while reading in bed, which is frowned upon when Al is home so it was a good time!
And so...didn't get to sleep till about 2...again.
Needless to say...there was no getting up bright eyed and bushy tailed for me this morning. When the alarm went off at 6, I staggered over to Angie's room, woke her up,staggered back to bed and turned off alarm #1. When alarm #2 went off at 6:30 I hit snooze, I staggered over to Al's room, woke him up and went right back to bed. 7 minutes later when the alarm went off again
(what the heck kind of time is that for a "snooze" by the way? 7 minutes? who picked that? such an odd amount of time...pick 5 or 10, but 7? that's just weird!)
anyway...when the 7 minutes of snooze were over, I peeked my head out of my blankets and hollered "Al...are you up?"
To which he clearly replied "yeah! yeah! I'm up!"
Now at this point I meant to hit snooze again...which I will do a couple of times till there's no other option but for me to get up...but instead I hit the off button
7:07 - CRAP! We have to be out of the house in like 5 minutes to get Al to school on time!
Jumped out of bed, got dresses and headed out of my room.
Noticed the downstairs was still dark....hmmm, surely there should be a kid down there eating breakfast or getting ready to leave or something... Oh heck NO! Look in Al's room and there he is all snuggled up in bed.
Now here's where the responsible, calm adult part of me (yes I DO have one of those!) deserted me completely cause I yelled "ALONSO! GET UP!" Which, needless to say, scared the crap out of him (and poor Dave and Rachel who were still asleep across the hall).
I then proceeded to chew him out over getting to bed late and not getting up on time. (yup, those words actually came out of my mouth)
And lying to me about being up when he wasn't (I stick by this one by the way!)
And how irresponsible it was for him to do this when he knows I still have 3 other kids to get to school and now everyone will be late (of course! who else should be responsible for getting the other kids off to school on time but...Al?) ....and on and on.
I wasn't done yet....
I then turn to Angie, who got up on time and was in the bathroom finishing her hair, and holler at her, "You were up! when you saw he wasn't getting up why didn't you wake him!" She replied "Mom I did. But he didn't listen!" Me: "well why didn't you come wake me and tell me!"
HUH??? ....I know! I know! I'm an ass!!
I hang my head in shame!
The sheer hypocrisy of yelling at Al over going to bed late and not waking up on time when clearly I did the same...
And the unmitigated gall of getting mad at Angie for not doing something that is, without question, my responsibility, because I overslept...
This is, without a doubt, a blue-ribbon day for mom stupidity around here! THE SHAME!!!!
I got some 'splainin to do...
I'll make some chocolate chip cookies for when they get home...they'll help put them in a forgiving mood and help me choke down the bitter taste of my jerkness when I apologize.
