O wonderful fruit of my loins...
For at least 5 years now you have enjoyed the wonder that is a shower. You have listened to the magic of the waterfall-like noise as water falls from the shower head. Yes...you know that sound.
In those same years your father and I have made it a priority to teach you respect for others, thoughtfulness and consideration. Manners, politeness...the little things that make life wonderful for all involved.
And yet here I am, once again contorted into the well known "AAAAARGHH...I'm in the dang shower" flamingo pose with strategic placement of hands which I delude myself into thinking have allowed me at least a smidgen of bodily privacy as you whip open the closed doors and barge into my bathroom!!
WHY CHILD? WHY???
You know you saw the closed door. You know you heard the shower running. And since you couldn't find me anywhere else in the house, I have NO DOUBT that you knew I was in here!!
I love you...I really do. But would it kill you to allow me 10 minutes of complete privacy?
Do you think that the minute I close that door and turn on the shower the magical Willy Wonka elevator shows up? You think I've got a hidden escape pod in there? (man that would be awesome!) A hidden stash of wonderfulness?
All I'm doing is showering. Honest. There are countless things in our home that would provide you with great entertainment...none of which are in the shower with me. There's no circus show going on. I'm not hiding candies or great snacks in the shower. No magical dimensions I leave to. Really...I got nothin.
SO STAY OUT!!!
Thanks,
Your Mother
The only positive thing to come out of this is the new "Hidden Shower Flamingo" pose I've added to my yoga routine. Oh yeah...you try holding that sucker for a few minutes and tell me your core isn't engaged!!
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