Hypocritical much?!

Hypocritical
Synonyms: artificial, backhanded, counterfeit, double, double-dealing, double-faced, fake, feigned, insincere, Janus-faced, jive [slang], left-handed, lip, mealy, mealymouthed, Pecksniffian, phony (also phoney), phony-baloney (or phoney-baloney), pretended, two-faced, unctuous
and may I add...JERK!

It's so much easier to confess your sins in a such an impersonal way.  Here I am, admitting to all and sundry, that I kicked the day off with a GIGANTIC "Jerk" sign on my forehead...but I don't actually have to look you in the eye while doing it. 

It all began, as most bad things do, in the dark of night...

Despite my desire to go to bed at a decent hour...
1) My fantasy football team was neck and neck with the other guy...known as THE LOSER this morning...till the very end of the game. HAD to watch. (by the way...what a spectacle that was!)
2) I started reading. You know how that goes...
3) I had a full bag of sunflower seeds to snack on while reading in bed, which is frowned upon when Al is home so it was a good time!

And so...didn't get to sleep till about 2...again.

Needless to say...there was no getting up bright eyed and bushy tailed for me this morning.  When the alarm went off at 6, I staggered over to Angie's room, woke her up,staggered back to bed and turned off alarm #1.  When alarm #2 went off at 6:30 I hit snooze, I staggered over to Al's room, woke him up and went right back to bed.  7 minutes later when the alarm went off again

(what the heck kind of time is that for a "snooze" by the way? 7 minutes? who picked that? such an odd amount of time...pick 5 or 10, but 7? that's just weird!)

anyway...when the 7 minutes of snooze were over, I peeked my head out of my blankets and hollered "Al...are you up?" 
To which he clearly replied "yeah! yeah! I'm up!"

Now at this point I meant to hit snooze again...which I will do a couple of times till there's no other option but for me to get up...but instead I hit the off button

7:07 - CRAP!  We have to be out of the house in like 5 minutes to get Al to school on time!
         Jumped out of bed, got dresses and headed out of my room. 

 Noticed the downstairs was still dark....hmmm, surely there should be a kid down there eating breakfast or getting ready to leave or something... Oh heck NO!  Look in Al's room and there he is all snuggled up in bed.

Now here's where the responsible, calm adult part of me (yes I DO have one of those!) deserted me completely cause I yelled "ALONSO! GET UP!" Which, needless to say, scared the crap out of him (and poor Dave and Rachel who were still asleep across the hall). 
 I then proceeded to chew him out over getting to bed late and not getting up on time. (yup, those words actually came out of my mouth)

And lying to me about being up when he wasn't (I stick by this one by the way!)

And how irresponsible it was for him to do this when he knows I still have 3 other kids to get to school and now everyone will be late (of course! who else should be responsible for getting the other kids off to school on time but...Al?)  ....and on and on. 

I wasn't done yet....

I then turn to Angie, who got up on time and was in the bathroom finishing her hair, and holler at her, "You were up! when you saw he wasn't getting up why didn't you wake him!" She replied "Mom I did.  But he didn't listen!"  Me: "well why didn't you come wake me and tell me!" 

HUH???  ....I know! I know! I'm an ass!!

I hang my head in shame!

The sheer hypocrisy of yelling at Al over going to bed late and not waking up on time when clearly I did the same...

And the unmitigated gall of getting mad at Angie for not doing something that is, without question, my responsibility, because I overslept...

This is, without a doubt, a blue-ribbon day for mom stupidity around here! THE SHAME!!!!

I got some 'splainin to do...

I'll make some chocolate chip cookies for when they get home...they'll help put them in a forgiving mood and help me choke down the bitter taste of my jerkness when I apologize.

Make every day a PARTY!!!

So its a tradition at my house...we don't just do the last day of school...we DO the last day of school!! It's a  PARTY!

The best part is waiting for the kids...hiding around the corner...with whatever crazy surprise I've come up with.

This year I went with a classic..."End of School Luau!"

I like to kick off the beginning of our Summer vacation with a bang!!  And I happen to be married to an absolutely wonderfully patient man who goes with whatever crazy idea I come up with!!



nothing makes me happier than seeing my kids laugh!!

OK...so I also enjoy laughing at my kids once in a while...

At the end of the day I ask myself...."Gina, did everyone have fun? Will they remember today and have a story to tell their kids?  Did you laugh so hard you almost peed your pants?"

If I can answer YES to all of the above...my job here is done!! :)

Its SO much more...why hadn't I noticed?

For the most part its just been a spot on my map of life.  A big spot, cause it was a huge achievement for me, but  just a spot non the less.  If you'd asked me a week ago what it was like I would have said it was ok, kinda small, nothing too exciting.  The exciting part is what I DID there!  Look at ME! Ran a the MotherRoad Half Marathon! Yup...right through a little town in Kansas...Baxter Springs I think...and Joplin, Missouri...I'M SO AWESOME!!!

But after last night...after this morning...its so much more. This place is SO much more.

Here's what I'm gonna tell you today about what it was like.  It was countless words of encouragement and "you can do its" from hotel clerks, waitresses, and every volunteer who helped me check in the day before. 

It was the sweetness of the waitress at Denny's who gave me a quick hug and a huge smile told me I was ready at 5 in the morning when we went to breakfast and she realized I was too nervous to eat. 

It was a 7 am party at the start line where countless people got together to play music for us and entertain us and make sure when we took off it was with a smile on our face.

It was immeasurable support from the hundreds of people who took time out of their work day to stand outside their small shops and cheer us on when we ran (or walked) past them. 

It was the little hands of girl scouts handing out water and gatorade at the drink stops with big, toothless smiles shining right at me. 

It was the silly giggle that jumped right out of my mouth when I turned the corner and saw a real life Mater just parked on the side of the road, his big, goofy eyes lookin right at me. 

It was a sweet old man...old, OLD man...who hollered at me from his chair when I walked past him, not sure I had 6 feet left in me much less 6 miles, to "Git movin before I catch you!" 

The cop directing traffic who told each and every one of us who, after nine long miles, looked up at the hill in front of us ready to cry..."this it it! just this one and you're there! go! go!" 

It was the rowdy noise of a bunch of people jumping up and down at the finish every time someone ran through...or staggered through in my case.

The wonderful group of EMT's who took one look at me and pulled me over to their tent, sat me down and handed me a big cup of water.

All capped off by a city making a party, just to celebrate with me and cheer me and tell me they were proud of me...and the hundreds of others they welcomed with open arms. 

Funny how that all blended together at the time, and for almost a year after.  I was so wrapped up in how proud of me I was...that I didn't really think of all the great people that made it possible for me to feel this way. 

Not until I saw this same town devastated. These same people staggering around, just trying to get their minds around what they had lived through and the reality of what was left. 

These are not just spots on a map, small towns in middle-America...just like a hundred others.  They are wonderful places! Full of generous, strong, proud, loving people.  People who work hard and give much.  These people, to whom I hadn't given much thought in the last year...well, I realized that in 2 days, they went from strangers to friends.  And it wasn't until I sat, trying not to cry as I watched the news last night, that I realized that a little part of them belongs to me and a little part of me belongs to them now. Spent a long time praying for the safety of all the people who's faces I hadn't thought of in so long.  But they were there for me one day....and I can be there for them now.

It can't possibly be harder...

Well...its been a while.  But I haven't really felt interesting enough to write lately.

And this one really is not for all of you...but for the few that find themselves where I am today.

I find myself on a leaky boat, with no paddle, trying to navigate the rough seas of adolescence...my kids', not my own!

And, as I'm sure countless parents have done before me,  once I've yelled, punished, spanked, cried, hollered some more, and pulled out some hair (mostly, but not all, mine) I'm finally exhausted and begging God to help me. 

My prayers are simple.  Easy-peasy for the Creator of the Universe.  Fix me! Fix my kid! Fix our relationship!  I believe in miracles...surely You can make it so when the child comes home he will be open to my guidance and willing to follow it cause it's best for him and I will be a calm, patient, understanding parent with the right words!!  I mean...really...after the Red Sea and all, its not too much to ask?!

But that's not what I got. 

What I got is a God who answered, "I know. I know how hard it is to watch your child go through something hard and painful and confusing.  I know how hard it is to hear your child ask you to fix it, but know you can't because it's for the best that they go through it. I know.  Focus on the goal, not the bumps on the road"

As hard as it might be to deal with a kid who wont talk to you and stomps around cause he's grounded...again...God sure can put it all in the proper perspective! 

couldn't happen...but what if I'm wrong?

So as most of us are wont to do when we have a little time between loads of laundry, loads of work or loads of b.s. ....I found myself pondering the complexities of existentialism and man...

of course in my head it went more like...."hmmmm...what if I'm a total dork?"

What if everything I believe is totally wrong?

What if the Hindus or the Buddhists are right and we just recycle around and around till we get it right?

Or maybe I'm just a biggo walking, talking part of the earth and when I die I just go right back into it?

Or maybe this is all just one big lucky accident and there's just nothing out there that means anything other than right now?

I guess all those could be true.  I mean, the only reason I am so grounded in my faith is because I have seen God work in my life and have witnessed the power of redemption in Christ in so many.  But as far as proof proof...well I suppose any of these beliefs as well as mine are lacking in that.

There's no lack of people who will tell me that my "faith" is just a delusion I use to comfort myself...and I suppose even they could be right.  Its not like we lack for reasons to need comfort now and then.  So if I spend my whole life wallowing in this delusion...does it matter? 

So I died a big dork and lived a life believing in a fake God following a fake example of how to love others and have compassion and make a positive difference.  I followed fake rules...although anyway you look at it not stealing, not hurting, killing or disrespecting others and just being a good person are positives all around. I made myself a part of an entire community of others as deluded as me....guess I'll just recycle around to my next life and hopefully not be as big a dork....or I'm just dirt again and who cares anyway...or nothing, just nothing...

Does it matter?  If I'm wrong?  Not really...I can't find a downside to being wrong...other than maybe another spin on the big rollercoaster of life. 

The way I see it, it only really matters if I'm right...and hopefully we wont find that out for a long time...and then it wont really matter will it? well... at least not to me. 

Honestly...I can't see a downside to loving my God. To believing, in the end, I will be found whole and worthy because of Jesus.  I'm happy, free, comforted and secure in that faith. I harm no one and hopefully make things a little better during my turn here.  I share the hope and love I feel with others who might need it. 

No harm no foul right?

...I'm not really worried about being wrong....although we all know that could NEVER happen!!!

My Dearest Child...

O wonderful fruit of my loins...

For at least 5 years now you have enjoyed the wonder that is a shower.  You have listened to the magic of the waterfall-like noise as water falls from the shower head.  Yes...you know that sound.

In those same years your father and I have made it a priority to teach you respect for others, thoughtfulness and consideration.  Manners, politeness...the little things that make life wonderful for all involved.

And yet here I am, once again contorted into the well known "AAAAARGHH...I'm in the dang shower" flamingo pose with strategic placement of hands which I delude myself into thinking have allowed me at least a smidgen of bodily privacy as you whip open the closed doors and barge into my bathroom!!

WHY CHILD? WHY???

You know you saw the closed door.  You know you heard the shower running.  And since you couldn't find me anywhere else in the house, I have NO DOUBT that you knew I was in here!!

I love you...I really do.  But would it kill you to allow me 10 minutes of complete privacy? 

Do you think that the minute I close that door and turn on the shower the magical Willy Wonka elevator shows up? You think I've got a hidden escape pod in there? (man that would be awesome!)  A hidden stash of wonderfulness?

All I'm doing is showering.  Honest. There are countless things in our home that would provide you with great entertainment...none of which are in the shower with me.  There's no circus show going on.  I'm not hiding candies or great snacks in the shower. No magical dimensions I leave to.  Really...I got nothin. 

SO STAY OUT!!!
Thanks,
Your Mother

The only positive thing to come out of this is the new "Hidden Shower Flamingo" pose I've added to my yoga routine.  Oh yeah...you try holding that sucker for a few minutes and tell me your core isn't engaged!!

My 2 cents...its all I got, blame the economy!

Its easy to forget freedom and democracy are a messy business.  While we sit here snug in our Constitution and our rights we forget that it took thousands and thousands of deaths, it took decades, it took this country nearly being split in half before we could settle into our cushy Democracy.  We read about it for a couple of weeks in 7th grade and then move on. Heck its ANCIENT news...why spend too much time on the Revolutionary War when we got exciting stuff going on now!  I mean all's well that ends well...why rehash it every 5 minutes when we got it all figured out!

Its no surprise that we want every country to enjoy what we enjoy, its freaking awesome after all! ...but can't they be neater and nicer about it? Can't this be done in like a couple of days so our programing isn't interrupted by breaking news coverage?  God!  How long can it take to just install a good government anyway! SHEESH!

Is it crazy to think what's happening in Egypt should be "fixed" quickly?  Pick the good guys, get them a good guy government and everyone go home and enjoy!  Yeah...that's how you get Saddam, or for that matter Mubarak.  As hard as it may be for us, who have the market cornered on awesome governments and all, we should perhaps consider that the people that actually live there...you know the ones risking their lives protesting in the street...should get to pick their new leader.  Not the US or Europe or whomever else.  Its a messy business this freedom and democracy thing...it might take more than 5 minutes.  Thank goodness we here in America...the beacon of freedom and democracy... have redbox and cable available to us while the rest of the world gets its act together!!

While I wait for the next thing that will come along and entertain me I guess I'll take a moment to pray for the people half a world away fighting tooth and nail for the freedoms we don't think are good enough anymore!