It can't possibly be harder...

Well...its been a while.  But I haven't really felt interesting enough to write lately.

And this one really is not for all of you...but for the few that find themselves where I am today.

I find myself on a leaky boat, with no paddle, trying to navigate the rough seas of adolescence...my kids', not my own!

And, as I'm sure countless parents have done before me,  once I've yelled, punished, spanked, cried, hollered some more, and pulled out some hair (mostly, but not all, mine) I'm finally exhausted and begging God to help me. 

My prayers are simple.  Easy-peasy for the Creator of the Universe.  Fix me! Fix my kid! Fix our relationship!  I believe in miracles...surely You can make it so when the child comes home he will be open to my guidance and willing to follow it cause it's best for him and I will be a calm, patient, understanding parent with the right words!!  I mean...really...after the Red Sea and all, its not too much to ask?!

But that's not what I got. 

What I got is a God who answered, "I know. I know how hard it is to watch your child go through something hard and painful and confusing.  I know how hard it is to hear your child ask you to fix it, but know you can't because it's for the best that they go through it. I know.  Focus on the goal, not the bumps on the road"

As hard as it might be to deal with a kid who wont talk to you and stomps around cause he's grounded...again...God sure can put it all in the proper perspective! 

couldn't happen...but what if I'm wrong?

So as most of us are wont to do when we have a little time between loads of laundry, loads of work or loads of b.s. ....I found myself pondering the complexities of existentialism and man...

of course in my head it went more like...."hmmmm...what if I'm a total dork?"

What if everything I believe is totally wrong?

What if the Hindus or the Buddhists are right and we just recycle around and around till we get it right?

Or maybe I'm just a biggo walking, talking part of the earth and when I die I just go right back into it?

Or maybe this is all just one big lucky accident and there's just nothing out there that means anything other than right now?

I guess all those could be true.  I mean, the only reason I am so grounded in my faith is because I have seen God work in my life and have witnessed the power of redemption in Christ in so many.  But as far as proof proof...well I suppose any of these beliefs as well as mine are lacking in that.

There's no lack of people who will tell me that my "faith" is just a delusion I use to comfort myself...and I suppose even they could be right.  Its not like we lack for reasons to need comfort now and then.  So if I spend my whole life wallowing in this delusion...does it matter? 

So I died a big dork and lived a life believing in a fake God following a fake example of how to love others and have compassion and make a positive difference.  I followed fake rules...although anyway you look at it not stealing, not hurting, killing or disrespecting others and just being a good person are positives all around. I made myself a part of an entire community of others as deluded as me....guess I'll just recycle around to my next life and hopefully not be as big a dork....or I'm just dirt again and who cares anyway...or nothing, just nothing...

Does it matter?  If I'm wrong?  Not really...I can't find a downside to being wrong...other than maybe another spin on the big rollercoaster of life. 

The way I see it, it only really matters if I'm right...and hopefully we wont find that out for a long time...and then it wont really matter will it? well... at least not to me. 

Honestly...I can't see a downside to loving my God. To believing, in the end, I will be found whole and worthy because of Jesus.  I'm happy, free, comforted and secure in that faith. I harm no one and hopefully make things a little better during my turn here.  I share the hope and love I feel with others who might need it. 

No harm no foul right?

...I'm not really worried about being wrong....although we all know that could NEVER happen!!!

My Dearest Child...

O wonderful fruit of my loins...

For at least 5 years now you have enjoyed the wonder that is a shower.  You have listened to the magic of the waterfall-like noise as water falls from the shower head.  Yes...you know that sound.

In those same years your father and I have made it a priority to teach you respect for others, thoughtfulness and consideration.  Manners, politeness...the little things that make life wonderful for all involved.

And yet here I am, once again contorted into the well known "AAAAARGHH...I'm in the dang shower" flamingo pose with strategic placement of hands which I delude myself into thinking have allowed me at least a smidgen of bodily privacy as you whip open the closed doors and barge into my bathroom!!

WHY CHILD? WHY???

You know you saw the closed door.  You know you heard the shower running.  And since you couldn't find me anywhere else in the house, I have NO DOUBT that you knew I was in here!!

I love you...I really do.  But would it kill you to allow me 10 minutes of complete privacy? 

Do you think that the minute I close that door and turn on the shower the magical Willy Wonka elevator shows up? You think I've got a hidden escape pod in there? (man that would be awesome!)  A hidden stash of wonderfulness?

All I'm doing is showering.  Honest. There are countless things in our home that would provide you with great entertainment...none of which are in the shower with me.  There's no circus show going on.  I'm not hiding candies or great snacks in the shower. No magical dimensions I leave to.  Really...I got nothin. 

SO STAY OUT!!!
Thanks,
Your Mother

The only positive thing to come out of this is the new "Hidden Shower Flamingo" pose I've added to my yoga routine.  Oh yeah...you try holding that sucker for a few minutes and tell me your core isn't engaged!!

My 2 cents...its all I got, blame the economy!

Its easy to forget freedom and democracy are a messy business.  While we sit here snug in our Constitution and our rights we forget that it took thousands and thousands of deaths, it took decades, it took this country nearly being split in half before we could settle into our cushy Democracy.  We read about it for a couple of weeks in 7th grade and then move on. Heck its ANCIENT news...why spend too much time on the Revolutionary War when we got exciting stuff going on now!  I mean all's well that ends well...why rehash it every 5 minutes when we got it all figured out!

Its no surprise that we want every country to enjoy what we enjoy, its freaking awesome after all! ...but can't they be neater and nicer about it? Can't this be done in like a couple of days so our programing isn't interrupted by breaking news coverage?  God!  How long can it take to just install a good government anyway! SHEESH!

Is it crazy to think what's happening in Egypt should be "fixed" quickly?  Pick the good guys, get them a good guy government and everyone go home and enjoy!  Yeah...that's how you get Saddam, or for that matter Mubarak.  As hard as it may be for us, who have the market cornered on awesome governments and all, we should perhaps consider that the people that actually live there...you know the ones risking their lives protesting in the street...should get to pick their new leader.  Not the US or Europe or whomever else.  Its a messy business this freedom and democracy thing...it might take more than 5 minutes.  Thank goodness we here in America...the beacon of freedom and democracy... have redbox and cable available to us while the rest of the world gets its act together!!

While I wait for the next thing that will come along and entertain me I guess I'll take a moment to pray for the people half a world away fighting tooth and nail for the freedoms we don't think are good enough anymore!

I'd say sorry but...well I think reality is a good place.

Apparently there were quite a few disgruntled folks after my SOTU synopsis.  It wasn't much of a surprise to me that many of them were...and I say were cause it probably is past tense at this point...friends and acquaintances in California. 

They are saddened and disappointed that I have been obviously brainwashed and misled by...well I don't know who exactly they think has done this to me, but its sad!

The least nice of those actually said that since I've moved to this "backward hick state" all the years of wonderful California public school and excellent secular university education seems to have fallen right outta my ears! (to be replaced by hay no doubt!) Cause I obviously don't understand the cerebral aspects of political decision made by our government. 

And I guess I don't...and probably never have...cause at my house when I only have say 50 bucks...I don't go out to the store and buy $700 worth of stuff and then demand the person behind me in line pay for it.  When our budget is maxed...we don't take out a loan to buy us a fancy new high speed anything...heck we're just happy to have enough money to buy gas!  AND once I've spent all my money buying non-essential stuff I can't afford I don't run down the street to the "rich people" houses and demand that they give me some of their money cause its not fair that I ran out and they have more than enough.  Call me crazy...but although I totally get that a hybrid would be totally cheaper in the long run in terms of fuel cost than my 'regular' Suburban...that doesn't really matter if I don't have the money to buy one anyway!


NEVER MIND!
I give up...think what you want, as I've said before it's America...its allowed here.  I'm sure your state can provide you with free counseling to deal with the damage my crazy opinions may have cause...at least until your state has to file for bankruptcy due to wasteful spending anyway.

Have a great day!! :)

SOTU for Dummies

~ Innovation: We're taking more of your money to come up with new ways to take your money.

~Education: We're taking more of your money to help you understand why we need to take more of your money.

~Infrastructure: We're taking more of your money to fund pork barrel shovel ready projects and buildings with our names on it...its important.

~Government/Regulation reform: We're making new rules to make it easier to take your money.

~Defecit reduction: we'll spend less money in a couple of areas while taking more of your money to spend on all of the other areas above.

Hey America is totally great! If American's were just a little more willing to share their money with us, its great elected officials, America could be awesome!  If you all complained just a little less and were more quiet about it, we could totally print more dollars and borrow more money from China and show China that we're totally more awesome than they are!! Deficit schmefecit...we'll be awesome!

If we could all just bipartisanly (I'm not sure that's an actual word by the way) agree that I am right and that we should do everything I say we can make American great again! 

Thank You and please leave your check at the door.

Man!! I should totally be a speech writter for these yahoos...I could have totally saved us like 80 wasted minutes of our lives!!

 Am I sounding bitter? :)

burnin it all down and starting from scratch!...wait don't call the cops I meant it metaphorically!!!

thinkin I needed a new theme song for my revolution! :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVXWS4yhSIY&feature=related